At the beginning of competitive dance our girls and moms sign a contract, the basics of listen to your teacher, wear your hair in a bun, no drugs or alcohol ( I should make sure that this one is just for the kids... not sure if I can make a dance year with no drinking!!) and then a piece of the contract saying that you will not be mean to any other dancers/teachers, meaning no talking bad about your team mates, other dance studios, ect.
After our last agility trial my 6 year old makes the comment... "I think everyone at agility should have to sign a contract like I do for dance, I can't believe how many mean things people say about each other"... then she makes the comment "I wonder what someone has said about me" My heart hurt. I LOVE that Lexi loves agility with me and I don't like that I now feel like I have to second guess if I want to bring her along.
Why as adults do we think it is ok to bring others down? Why do we want to see our peers fail? I am pretty sure there isn't millions of dollars on the line (if there is I am entering the wrong places because all these years I have just been spending millions of my husbands money) We are all in this sport for different reasons. I do this because I love it, I have no desire for world team, I don't really care about Regionals or Nationals. Right now I have 2 little girls that my main focus is to raise and love and make sure their childhood is as amazing as mine was, I want my girls to have every opportunity I can give them. For this year that meant I didn't go to Regionals, probably Ava's last kick at the can to go, but I didn't want to interfere with our holiday planned if we did make Nationals. So I stay happy with the time I have had with her, and I look forward to watching her and Lexi play.
I don't have unlimited time to practice, my backyard is not an agility playground it is a kid zone, I get out to practice and work when I can, I trial 2 may be 3 times a year, when I can. Ava will never get her ATCH, I am ok with this, she hates Gamble, I hate Gamble, 4 master gambles, NEVER gonna happen, she has her steeplchase title, she has her bronze jumpers, we are one q away from her bronze snooker, if she gets it she gets it, she doesn't oh well. None of those things matter anymore, I care about the titles and q's she helps Lexi get, those ones mean more then all the ones I have with her, I know she loves agility because she wants to play with her kid, and her feelings have been hurt lately with Lexi playing with Clover. Blossom is who she is, some times she is the fastest little firecrackers that is just amazing, the next time she is the dog who walks the course and really shows no interest. I love her for who she is, it is always a surprise who I will get to play with :o) Then there is Storm, I learned how much she really feeds off of me, she has always been super crazy running agility, the last trial I was super stressed out and it showed in her, she was slow and kept trying to hide, this was not my dog, and I feel bad that I let her feel my anxiety. People can say what they want, I know that she is ready to trial, I see her in practice and at fun matches, she is great, I need to get my shit together. There is no amount of pressure anyone can put on ME at practice that will simulate a trial and get us working on the same page, so we practice this at trial. It is my money and my choice to do this, no one elses and no one else should have an opinion on this. We had some great break throughs at the last trial, a wonderful gamble and an amazing snooker run, I am happy, I need to learn to handle Storm how we practice and leave the crap of every thing else at the gate...
My wish is that instead of hiding in your tent (or standing off to the side, you never know who is videoing around you, I have heard some interesting conversations in video's, if I posted them WOW would shit hit the fan, I have so many agility runs I can not post because of this) talking about other people's run or how their dog behaves, take a look in the mirror and realize you are not perfect either. Remember that we are not all in this for the same end result, but we are all in this because we LOVE our dogs and LOVE the sport. I choose what height and category to put my dog in, I choose what style of contacts I want with my dog, I choose what method I train. It is no one's business but mine, I am not judging you on your choices. People aren't going to break agility by handling different then you, watch for a minute, may be you will learn something new to try with your dog. How boring would it be for the judge to watch the exact same pattern all day? Instead of complaining how a dog is behaving, may be go to that person and ask if they need some help, may be let them know you have some tips on how to stop their dog lunging on the line or running off course, may be you don't know yourself but may be you can suggest someone for them to look up on the internet or talk to at the trial. The worst they will do is say they aren't interested, but then at least you tried. Does it change anything to talk about them behind their backs?
We all see in the news about bullying getting worse at schools, where is this coming from? Kids learn things from what they see around. Thankfully Lexi has enough sense to come talk to me about what was said and who said it and I was able to have a conversation with my daughter about why that was wrong for those people to say those things, I will tell you I will be much for cautious of who Lexi is allowed to be with at agility trials, although she already feels those are not people she wants to be around. What about those kids who don't talk to someone about it...
I know that I have been guilty of things in the past, but I know that I will be much more careful to watch my tongue, I just want to have fun and enjoy my dogs and time with my daughter, my outlook on trials will be much different going forward.
I love this picture taken by Aine, I know that as stressed as we both were, she did have some fun :0)
